Have you ever had a thought or idea that compelled you so much that you began investigating it and lost complete track of time? You went down a rabbit hole and came out hours or even days, weeks, months later? I have seen many of you here today do that very thing with an idea regarding a person, a game, a sport, or a problem you’re struggling with… We all do it at some point – including me as I complete the final chapter of my book on a topic that had stymied me for years,  but why? Maybe it’s curiosity, but I feel like whatever inspired that initial action was seeking clarity or understanding around a given topic.. We want to understand with greater clarity that which was spurred by something inside of us.. 

Well I’m here to tell you that it’s going to happen again and again in life with simple things or really big things that can change the trajectory of your lives. What then? That’s what I want to talk about today, and I’d like to share three simple actions that have helped me, my own children, countless other students, and can easily help you on your journeys. And let me say that they are truly quite simple, and likely articulated much more eloquently by my husband in his second book, Moving the Needle, but I’m going to give it a try.

Number One: Get Clear. Number two: Get free, and Number three: Get going. 

Let’s begin with number one.. Get clear.

If you really want to get  CLEAR, you have to get QUIET.  In these days of iphones, the Internet, and social media – that is perhaps our number one challenge. In fact, busyness seems to be a badge of honor that people can’t talk about enough these days. Interestingly, in 1940 CS Lewis wrote a book called The Screwtape Letters.

The book is about how a young aggressive devil is trying to ruin mankind. The evil, Satan says, “I’ve got a bigger plan, I will keep people SO busy that they won’t be able to hear the voice of God.” That was in 1940 before the iPhone was even around.  I’m not talking about spending three hours in solitude every day, but perhaps start your day with 5 to 10 minutes of quiet time to set your intentions for the day.

Number two…GET Free. 

What I mean by that are two things. Eliminate all negative beliefs and thoughts about yourself. Have you ever noticed that we compare our deepest darkest times with people’s Snaps and their Instagram’s greatest moments?

When students come into my office, I usually ask them, “What is your self-talk? What are you saying to yourself about yourself?” The one thing I want to leave with you is remember you are a loved human being by our creator and by all of us here at The Village School.

The other part of getting free is eliminating all excuses to take 100% responsibility for your decisions. How many times do you say you’d like to do something and want to do something, but then come up with an excuse NOT to do it. 

For example, I may have told myself that I was going to get up earlier and exercise because I get home too late from work to do it during the evening, but then excused myself from this great habit with, “I’m too tired to get up and need more sleep.” That’s pretty weak; getting to bed earlier instead of scrolling through Instagram would have helped me go to sleep earlier so that I am not too tired to do something that is truly good for me.. Eliminate excuses and take 100 % responsibility to get free.

Number 3… Get GOING. 

Sometimes, when we feel like we’re stuck, we just need the right tools to get going. Here are two of my favorite tools that could help you.

I know that at your age, most of you just want all the answers (I did too) but in my 58 years on this earth, I’ve learned that it’s much more important to be able to ask good questions than it is to have all the answers.

So instead of trying to unlock the secrets to life’s mysteries for you, here are a few simple questions:

Question #1: What are you going to be when you grow up?

So what ARE you going to be when you grow up?

You have probably heard this question from the time when you were a small kid. Did you ever notice who was asking the question. It was usually asked by the adults; do you know why they were asking? Most of them are looking for clues for themselves. We think adults have all the answers. After further review, I’ve realized all we do is learn to pretend better. Back when you were a child, you would dream and say things like, “I want to be an astronaut, or a firefighter, or even the president.”

Then when you were at the end of grade school people would stop asking what you were going to be when you grow up and instead they ask, “Where are you going to high school?” Then at the end of high school, they ask, “ Where are you going to college?” And then you get to college and the question changes again.  This time it’s “WHAT ARE YOU MAJORING IN? ” Boy, I struggled with that question because I wanted to major in EVERYTHING!! And NOW that you’re graduating from high school, how many variations have you all heard of, “Soo…. What are you going to do next?”

Most studies show that 80% of high school students have no idea what they are going to do when they graduate…….so relax you are in good company. 

You see the wording always seems to change but the issue is still the same: People are really trying to figure out where are you headed? What are you going to do with your life? Until you graduate from college and God willing you get a job.  Then people stop asking that question: “What are you going to be when you grow up?” I can’t remember the last time I was asked that question. Which is good because I am not sure how I would answer that. I have been able to do several interesting things in my life in education and business, but I knew I always wanted to be in education to help young people on their journeys to become the best version of themselves. 

It’s a HARD QUESTION TO ANSWER.

But then again, the more I think about it, it really isn’t that tough of a question to answer at all. BECAUSE LIFE IS MORE THAN WORK.  

If I stop thinking in terms of a career, I’ve known for a long time what I wanted to be:

A loving mother, grammy, and wife. A good sister to my 12 sisters and a loving daughter, a loyal and supportive friend and someone who gives back to my community, someone who is not afraid to show my passions, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities to others – A woman who loves helping others by educating and mentoring young students. And a woman who believes that life is a place we go to GIVE and not GET.

So when someone asks you the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I truly believe THESE KINDS of answers are much more important than an engineer, a business owner, a lawyer… important though those may be. 

YOU SEE, THE RELATIONSHIPS WE BUILD, THE COMMITMENTS WE MAKE, THE VALUES WE LIVE BY – THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT DETERMINE WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE WE ARE. AND IF YOU DON’T DO A GOOD JOB OF DETERMINING WHAT TYPE OF PERSON YOU ARE, IT WON’T MATTER WHAT KIND OF JOB YOU HAVE. WE AT THE VILLAGE SCHOOL, ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS, HAVE WORKED HARD TO INSTILL THESE VALUES IN YOU.

Not sure if this 100% true….

Former NBA great Michael Jordan told this story about himself years ago.  He was in Philadelphia and went into a restaurant and ordered dinner.  The busboy came up to him and put a roll and pat of butter down before him.  Jordan looked at the busboy and said:  “I’d like another pat of butter.”
“One pat of butter to a customer, sir,” replied the busboy.
Jordan looked at him and said:  “Don’t you know who I am?
The busboy said:  “No, who?”
He said: “My name is Michael Jordan. I played professional basketball and won an Olympic Gold Medal and won 6 championships with the Chicago Bulls, won more NBA MVP’s than anyone and I now own the Charlotte Hornets of the NBA.
The busboy replied, “Those are very impressive credentials, Mr. Jordan, but don’t you know who I am?
“No, who?”
“I’m the man in charge of the butter.”

There will always be someone in charge of the butter, the plates and everything else in your life.   We need to get along with and connect with everyone. We can’t put ourselves above or ahead of others.  Every person is important; they can help us AND can keep us from getting what we want.  DO NOT let anyone crush your dreams OR tell you can’t do something.  IF YOU REALLY WANT SOMETHING, CAN GET CLEAR, GET FREE, AND GET GOING …. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.